You would listen to that nagging urge to start your own business. Or, perhaps you would get up the gumption to approach that handsome stranger you always see at the coffee shop. Or, maybe you would speak up more at parties and in meetings.

You’ve tried time and again to talk yourself into having more confidence, yet, despite all the affirmations you recite, there’s something in you that doesn’t quite believe them.

Luckily, there are research-based strategies that will help you get to the root of the thinking patterns that undermine you. Here are some tips to get you well on your way to a more positive view of yourself.

1. Challenge your self-talk. 

A lot of times we respond to our thoughts as if they’re gospel truth, without ever questioning them. To fix this, start observing how you talk to yourself. Then take on the role of scientist. Being as objective as possible, question whether what you’re saying to yourself is really true. And, if you hear yourself saying “always” or “never,” that’s a warning sign that you’re probably not taking the whole picture into account.

For example, if you say to yourself, “I’m always terrible at making small talk,” think about examples that disprove that. What about the way you chatted with the barista in the morning? How about your morning drive-bys with your co-worker? As you start to notice instances that disprove the ways you discredit yourself, you’ll develop a more accurate, well-rounded view of yourself.

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